24

For the first time, since I have started working, I have felt that I can breathe and think about myself. A chance to take a rest and decide what I would like to do next. A window of opportunity to depend on my parents again after five years. Our roles have been reversed in the last five years– at least in terms of supporting the family.
Two weeks ago, one of my parents came into a small inheritance. Quite small, but enough to tide us over should I decide to stop working in an office and consider what I would do next.

 

I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

It certainly wasn’t enough to make me consider going back to school but I felt relieved that I could breathe again, even for a little space of time. At the same time, every day that I stay with the company I am working for, is a struggle. Daily, I am tempted to skip work, or maybe go AWOL. Sadly, I am hard-wired to be responsible and I end up going to work every day and on time. I’m such a ninny.

It may be too early for burnout as I have only been in this company for almost two years but I am tired of being on the frontline. I want to venture in a different industry altogether.

At 24, the vision for the future is blurry. I keep dreaming about living abroad for years at a time. I am in no way near that dream. My portfolio is next to non-existent, personal savings is a mess, my net worth– no idea. It’s a day-to-day survival with little regard to the future, however much I look forward to it. I have not gone to places, seen people nor feel anything in a bigger scale.
There is a dark, restless thing that resides in this soul. And I only know what I do not want.

x

Mitty-esque

Five years ago, I have envisioned myself with a job that could support travelling the world. To be exact, I saw myself in Brazil, in time to watch FIFA Live, 24 years old and living the life (however vague that is).

I turned 24 last December, but the vision had long changed to what I wanted to watch live, overseas: tennis and basketball. All the grand slams– Australian Open, Roland Garros, Wimbledon and the US Open, I’d like to see at least once and go watch the Lakers at the Staples Center.

I may as well go backpacking around Europe, Central Asia, South America and here in my country. Crowd funding and coach surfing are appealing and though I barely have an idea how it works, it seem so exciting.

So far, though, I may have secured that job that will pay for world travel, but I am not without baggage. I will not bore you with the many reasons why I can’t impulsively go backpacking abroad but the main thing is that a breadwinner can’t afford to leave people behind.

Every year, I get scared that it’s too late and I won’t ever have time for any adventure– couch potato and sedentary person that I am, my feet are itching and I look to the skies and wonder.

Seeing The Secret Life of Walter Mitty gave me hope. That a life of adventure awaits, and I just have to take a step towards it.

So when will I?

Heh.

Go see the film.

To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.

Happy 2014!

Game of Thrones 3 | A Smattering of Douchebaggery from an ASOIAF Book Fan

If you haven’t watched all of Season 3, stop reading to avoid spoilers. The last thing I want is some whiny TV fan complaining that this post ruined his viewing experience.

Spot on.

Spot on.

Season 3 is a pivotal turn for the series with the Red Wedding being the biggest deal [breaker] in the War of the Five Kings. It is when a fan realizes that the Starks may not be the protagonists in this show after all and of course, the shock sets in, that George R.R. Martin kills everyone off. This show is not for the squeamish and weak of heart. Fans of the series will notice that this season showcased more blood and action and less boobs. It doesn’t make the show less appealing because after three seasons, the Lannisters are still sitting on the Iron Throne, the Starks still not reunited, Dany is still in Essos, the Tyrells are asserting their power,Joffrey is still a dick and we’re all somehow waiting for justice. In short, we are all left reeling and Filipinos are wont to exclaim:

Bida ba yon?! Bat namatay?!!!

Some of the biggest shocks for TV fans this season:

  • The Kingslayer losing his hand. Didn’t see that coming, did ya? He deserved it? Nothing that ever happens in this series is ‘deserved’. It happens because of another character’s self preservation and uh, evulz.
  • Dany’s Crowning Moment of Awesome in Astapor. One of my favorite scenes in the book. You think Dothraki language was awesome in the first season but Valyrian is much more so, especially when Dany used it against the slave masters. Dracarys has been trending on Twitter, since then.
  • Theon losing little Theon. Don’t think about telling me again, that he deserved it for sacking Winterfell. You haven’t seen enough bastardry from Ramsay Snow.
  • Bran piloting Hodor’s body. Cool beans? No it’s not. It’s taboo to do that (skinchanging/warging) to human beings; a violation of will and you just don’t see it because Hodor isn’t exactly protesting succinctly. Seizing the body of another man is completely abominable even by wildlings’ standards.
  • Arya’s friendship with the Hound. 
  • Jon Snow knows where to put it. And put it well, baby!
  •  The Heel Face Turn of Jaime Lannister. You could almost forget his incestuous relationship with Cersei and the fact the he pushed Bran off the window ledge. A lot of Jaime- Brienne shippers, this season.
  • Lord Commander Mormont’s death. Ah, who am I kidding? If you’ve watched this series, long enough, you have braced your self in some way because you know, someone is about to die and it’s just a matter of time, cruelty and gruesome details.
  • The Red Wedding. There, there. Stop crying. A lot more is coming. Like, um, Winter.

Let me remind you again, this series is not a depiction of the battle between good and evil. This is GRRM‘s deconstruction of high fantasy. A lot of tropes have been subverted and this complex plot is far from over.

Some of the shocks the book fans got this season:

It either never happened or completely different in the books. I won’t elaborate because I might, um, spoil you. I’ll leave you to figure it out and read the books yourself.

  • Kind Shae
  • “The Lannister sends their regards”
  • Melisandre meeting up with the Brotherhood Without Banners
  • Gendry and Melisandre’s sexy time
  • Joffrey killing Ros
  • The Cersei- Loras Engagement
  • Jaime not shaving his head after escaping Riverrun
  • Osha and Rickon accompanying Bran in his journey to The Wall.
  • Podrick Payne’s sexual prowess
  • Yara (Asha) defying Balon to rescue Theon
  • Balon Greyjoy being alive
  • Daario Naharis being beardless and blonde
  • the Unsullied costume
  • Talisa’s death
  • JUST ABOUT EVERY THING IN THIS SEASON. #NoOneUnderstaaands

Uptight book fans like me, understands.

Kudos, HBO and the Game of Thrones staff, crew, writers and creators for:

  • the rock version(s) of The Bear and the Maiden Fair and the Game of  Thrones opening theme which was played at the end, on one of the episodes
  • the music they arranged for The Rains of Castamere
  • the clockwork Astapor, Yunkai, Riverrun and the Twins in the opening sequence
  • the witty script
  • contributing to my rage issues

Notice when you start to hate one of the characters in The Walking Dead? That’s a hint that your hatred is about to climax and the character dies. HBO’s Game of Thrones is the opposite. Careful when you start loving a character, GRRM may just kill him/her. Haven’t you learned your lesson in season 1 when Ned Stark died?

This is basically GRRM's love letter to his fans.

This is basically GRRM’s love letter to his fans.

Tsk.

Season 4 is the next half of A Storm of Swords and will most likely be shown in March or April 2014. Until then, there’s a massive Game of Thrones withdrawal all over the realm.

Ha ha. I'm just busting your balls.

Ha ha. I’m just busting your balls.

**

Pathway Musika

If you’re looking for new music to listen to or if your life long dream is to be a groupie and trail a band while they tour, this post may be the answer to your secret hopes. Ha ha.

The bulk of my readers are not from this country, but music transcends culture and race and if you find this interesting enough, don’t be shy and share it to your friends and spread the love.

Magnificent people of WordPress, let me introduce you, to Pathway. The band consists of four young men who recently graduated from UP Los Banos (yep, same school I hail from) and was formed back in 2010. They rose to local fame in the campus and their hometown after winning the UPLB FEB FAIR: CLASS DISTRACTION 2011.  It was a whirlwind of gigs and competitions from there on. They cite their major influences as Switchfoot, Rivermaya, Sugarfree, Remy Zero, 30 Seconds To Mars, The Script, Eraserheads, Rico Blanco, Urbandub, Gloc 9, Yeng C. and writes alternative rock and does amazing covers.

I’ve known these guys since they were in high school and they have been playing musical instruments like a pro, so if that doesn’t vouch for their skills, then you have better see and hear them for yourselves. :)

Pathway also participated in the Eat Bulaga: Battle of the Bands in late 2012 and has recently made it on the  Top 20 of the Pinoy Myx Countdown with their song, Tinig Watch this video below and I’m enabling you, dear reader, to stalk and obsess on new music!

Like them on Facebook: facebook.com/pathwaymusika

Follow them on Twitter: @pathwaymusika

Subscribe to the YT channel

Check the band’s website!

Vote for them on the Pinoy Myx Countdown

 

 

 

Vocalist/Lead Guitar:  Juni Frio
Back-up Vocals/Rhythm Guitar: Timi Manching
Bass Guitar: Ogie Frio
Drums: Andreau Narte

 

Pathway shot the music video in the UPLB campus and Juni edited, produced and directed the video. That guy’s insanely gifted. Cool beans, huh?

 

Cheers!

**

 

Nope, not paid to do this. I’m posting this because I sincerely believe and like their music. Not just because they’re one of my closest guy friends, but because, come on, watch one of their music videos and you’ll be sold as I am. Sometimes, I can’t believe I’m friends with such talented people.

 

Midyear Anti Hiatus (Sort of)

We’re halfway through the year and I’ve barely posted anything on here. Mostly because my brother borrowed my laptop and brings it to the office (he interns with) everyday and because I can access the internet through my smart phone, I almost do not need to open a computer to surf the net. The thing is, I couldn’t get the hang of blogging using my BlackBerry so I busy myself with micro blogging. Ha ha, that’s Twitter.

The only reason, I can post an entry now is because I got my laptop back and I am actually on a ten-day mandatory leave from work. Yes, folks. Mandatory. Such is the perks of working for a bank.  They need time to audit your work and make sure you haven’t committed any fraud. So here I am,at the end of my leave (weekends included, so technically, this is 14 of 14) and I’ve spent the previous days sleeping a lot, reading, watching tennis and basket ball on TV and holding solo DVD marathons and hanging out with friends, if I could.

To be honest, I envisioned my mandatory leave to be busy while looking for work. Remember my last post that I was starting to like my job? Well Murphy’s Law deemed that I should be fucked with because weeks after that post, my gay boss whom I loved like a dear friend and one of the reasons I don’t mind the stressful and difficult job itself, got transferred teams and I had to be under a new boss. Those were two grueling months of transition and I had been pushed to perform with my very best. As someone who is not competitive and content to get by, every fiber of my being resist the change. Worse, was that I had to be nice, because, duh, customer service. Why worse? Well, I’m mean and rude and I find it hard and takes a lot of effort to be nice. I do not know how to comfort people in real life. How would management expect me to be reassuring when I talk to clients whenever I try to resolve their many issues? It just seem too much for me at the time and every day I drag myself to work and look forward to the day my contract ends and say goodbye to the BPO industry.

As luck, time and perseverance would have it, things started to change last May. I do not know what exactly, but maybe I got used to the demands and expectations from the team and division I was in. Maybe, by practice, excellence has been ingrained on me that it’s like reflex (whoa). Nevertheless, here we are. I ended up enjoying my leave not having to pressure myself to find another job (yet) and flee from my current company.I even got closer to my new boss. To think that I was blaming her for the pressure and stress I was under the past few months.

I just finished reading Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being so forgive me if his influence lingers and I say that stress and hardship will always be present and the goal is not to eliminate all of it so I could be happy. As a human being, we will never be without problems and the lightness that looks so seductive, the absence of problems, it may be unbearable after all, and empty. I am not saying that I will actively seek problems but at least the despair I feel when I reach the  point where  I do not know what to do anymore? It’s ubiquitous. It’s normal. And part of a never-ending struggle of a mere mortal.

Troy (2004) was playing last night and Achilles’ revelation struck me that the gods actually envy us because we are mortal. That everything is beautiful because we’re doomed. We don’t know when our last moment will be.

As a 23 year old bobbing and floating through life trying to find my niche and figure out what I”m good at and what I really wanted to do, it’s only inevitable that at one point, I will fill my blog with existential musings instead of ravings and rants about  the latest object of  my obsession.  Who am I kidding? I’m a fan girl. Of course, I’ll blog about my latest obsessions. Up next is Game of Thrones, tennis, and books I’ve been reading.

x

Failure to be Coherent [(Again) because I'm fangirling]

If you chance upon reading this blog, I must warn you, I am only ever so coherent and succinct when I am angry or depressed but expect nothing more when I am happy. My thoughts will be all over the place. Like a vandal that could not stand a pristine wall and has an incessant need to fill all the spaces with graffiti.  That’s basically how almost all of my blog looks like anyhow.

 

For starters, the first month of the year has been incredibly fast and honestly, I think I’m starting to do enjoy my work in this new global company I’m in. Nothing monumental happened except that I think I read more books this month compared to my average number of books read in a month in 2012. Yes, I deem that exciting, what’s your point? I also welcomed the first day of the year obsessing  on the YouTube web series, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. I think I watched all 75 episodes in one day and I’m only catching up now from episodes 76 up to most recent as I write here. I multitask like that. Or you know, I just gotta do something while I wait for the video to buffer.

 

But I can’t keep writing now that the episodes are getting exciting and I already told you, I’m not coherent when I’m happy, so multiply that by five when I’m fangirling, so this is what happens:

asdfghjkl;zxctydbwdojdemcflnnidbfcisnb.

 

See?

 

Wanna obsess on something new this 2013?

 

Catch it  on YouTube and watch it ALL, I tell yah.

 

Wait, I was gonna write something relevant and life changing a while ago..

 

**

 

 

2012 Books

A miserably meager list, or I’m forgetting to list down some of the books I’ve read this year.

There aren’t enough books in the world.

The one sure thing I will make an effort on is to allot more time to reading. I abuse my eyes, like that.

January

Dance of The Gods. Nora Roberts

Valley of Silence. Nora Roberts

These, I’ve struggled reading until I came upon some of William Butler Yeats poem, inserted in the novels and my heart turned to hopeless goo.

February

Jewels of the Sun. Nora Roberts. 02072012

Game of Thrones. George R.R. Martin. 02122012

The Perks of Being A Wallflower. Stephen Chbosky. 02242012

Weird combination, huh?

March

A Clash of Kings. George R.R. Martin. 03312012

The Best of Chico and Delamar. 03192012

It get’s weirder.

April

I’ve Got Your Number. Sophie Kinsella. 04102012

Judge me all you want, but I happen to enjoy a Kinsella chick lit.

May

A Storm of Swords. George R.R. Martin. 05172012

Holding the Dream. Nora Roberts. 05212012

Because I needed to balance gory-and-cynical high fantasy with true-love-and-happy-endings fiction.

June

50 Shades of Grey.  E.L. James. 06232012

50 Shades Darker. E.L. James. 06162012

50 Shades Freed.  E.L. James. 06212012

I do have questionable taste, I know. But how can I spout filthy criticisms if I haven’t read it?

July

Luring A Lady. Nora Roberts. 07022012

Taming Natasha. Nora Roberts. 07032012

Luring a Lady. Nora Roberts.

A Feast For Crows. George R. R. Martin

Yes, yes. In my mind, George R.R. Martin and Nora Roberts are happily married.

August

A Dance With Dragons. George R.R. Martin

For someone who was a bum at that point, I wasn’t so productive with reading, either.

September

Phaedra. June Rachuy Brindel. 

The Golden Mean. Annabel Lyon

On the Way to The Wedding. Julia Quinn

To Catch A Highlander. Karen Hawkins

Historical fiction at its different shades and hues.

October

Everything She Thought She Wanted. Elizabeth Buchan

Saffron Skies. Leslie Lokko

Pre-loved books that I found and never regretted buying.

November

When Beauty Tamed the Beast. Eloisa James

I could never stay away from Eloisa.

December

The Fault in Our Stars. John Green. 12192012

1984. George Orwell. 12262012

Looking for Alaska. John Green. 12292012

 

I found a new love.

2013.

I have a gazillion of books to read. Seriously though, 90% of the gifts I got for Christmas and my birthday are books, and I’m one happy book fiend.

Some of them, I bought, most of them, gifts :3
Some of them, I bought, most of them, gifts :3
Gifts from my office mate, Cel, who was a bit scared that I won't like her selection. It turns out, she chose well ;)

Gifts from my office mate, Cel, who was a bit scared that I won’t like her selection. It turns out, she chose well ;)

You have 12 months to devour books and more of ‘em. :)

Cheers!

**