Yesterday, I spent the morning drinking with my work friends up till five in the afternoon. In the middle of it, we were joined by my friend’s boyfriend, L, who was an aspiring lawyer and whom I know to be righteous in every sense of the word. I say this without mockery as I know there are people out there who will try their best to choose and do what is right even when it is uncomfortable and inconvenient. Before he joined that drinking session, I was very tipsy which I thought was a nice touch because sleep would be so sweet once I come home. I just didn’t know that a heated debate that would follow shortly would wipe away any drunkenness from our persons.
A subject came up about one of our friends whom we can’t confront about a shady issue in the recent past. It brought about a discussion in which L asked each of us if we will choose to turn him in for an infraction we suspect he’s committing. Each of us said no. That even when we know that he might be doing something wrong, we will not cause his downfall. L pointed out that it is the same reason that the country is corrupt–because at the nuclear level, people have this skewed perception of relationships over altruism. Our own interests hinder us from pursuing the greater good.
I have long since known myself a subscriber of the grey and gray morality and that I could tolerate a lot of bullshit. But it doesn’t make me less aware that I am using it as a convenient excuse not to seek the light and be a good person. I would argue that nothing is as black and white as it should be. You would say that the truth is absolute and we should always do what is right. I would then, counter argue that what is right is relative and who’s to judge what is right for a person when we only have the arrogance of hindsight?
I went home thinking that although the discussion was intellectually stimulating, it drains the emotion. And I ask myself if I would ever consider fixing my moral compass or continue down the path of apathy and selfishness.
Good thing this isn’t Game of Thrones because I’m pretty sure there is a middle ground.