This territory goes Uncharted

After the touch base meeting that we had with the managers, the comm. coaches decided that the interns do an impromptu speech just so they can hear how we sound1.  So, the comm. coaches of our department, Jill and Chay, asked us to talk about a topic that interest us the most. I blurted out that I like history, fashion and literature but Sarj, my co-intern didn’t have a topic in mind at that moment. Chay suggested that they would just ask questions and we would answer it elaborately for two minutes.

Chay ended up asking why I never had a boyfriend in my short 21 years. Same goes for Sarj. Who, coincidentally, is in the same situation as I do. This isn’t a sad little story as to why I never had a boyfriend. The four of us were actually laughing all throughout that no-boyfriend conversation.

I have lots of excuses as to why I don’t have a boyfriend but don’t get tight ass on me and wonder if I’m just so ugly that nobody dares pursue me.

I wouldn’t discuss the excuses because of the possibility that the people involved in my no-boyfriend streak would chance upon this entry.

Instead, I came up with excuses that you can use if somebody asks, why you, a beautiful creation by God, is still single and never had a relationship since birth.

1. “All my suitors die, once I start to like them. “

Make sure to use this statement when the person asking looks like he’s testing the waters if he can court you . That would shut him up.

2. “Love? You believe in that?”

Be blase about it ala-Summer Finn of 500 Days of Summer (2009) and dismiss notions of true love and lasting relationships in such a way that the person listening would want to prove to you that true love exists! .. with him.

3.  Be diddly-eyed, complete with stars in your eyes, and say the following with a dreamy voice: ” I haven’t met him yet.” *Cue: Michael Bublé ‘s I Just Haven’t Met You Yet*

Your listeners would either puke from all that mush and hopelessness, laugh their asses off or sigh with you.

4. Admit that you have issues and that you’re too picky.

 That’s understandable, you know. It’s a relationship, for Finn’s sake! Why shouldn’t you be allowed to be choosy? They aren’t the ones who would have to deal with the boyfriend on a regular basis so go be picky, it’s fine. Be in a relationship with someone you like enough and at least remotely attracted to. (I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone I’m not even attracted to.)

 5. Lead your story up to the series of events that made you that way.

That is, if your listeners have enough time before they pounce on you to judge your skinny butt. Pull a Ted Mosby on them. 😉

 6. “I’m too busy for that.”

 Whether it’s your studies, work or plain bum-ness that’s keeping you from dating, go use it. It’s a lame one but they’ll let you off the hook if it’s true enough. Except of course, for the bums. Pretend busy-ness then.

7. Take offense and say, “I don’t need men to be happy.”

It’ll lead into an argument and will make your listeners think you’re a man-hater but yeah, your grave, your shovel. Get ready to present your arguments.

You could also flex your biceps like that lest someone contradicts your statement

8. “I treasure my solitude.

and so not willing to share happiness with a significant other.. yet

9. “I’m not ready.

 Just be ready to answer the follow-up question of, “when will you be?”

 Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into being in a relationship for the sake of being in one. Being single is not against the law. If it’s meant, it’s meant. You’ll have your time to shine. LOL. Katy Perry did sing that there are tons of fish in the water. Go fish? 🙂

1You should know that English is the second language of Filipinos and working for a call center that operates in Canada and US, we couldn’t speak more English than we already are and as newly appointed interns (as of October, yay!), it would be best if we ‘walk the talk”.


4 thoughts on “This territory goes Uncharted

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