My creative juices has dried up. I’ve several drafts that I need to work on and totally nothing funny to share these days.
It might be true, what my best friend said, that,
You don’t write when you’re happy. You’re too busy being happy to write about it. You write when you’re depressed, sad or miserable.
So being sad will enable me to produce a new entry?! No thanks.
My weekend was eventful and you probably saw what I did last Sunday on my Adventures page but I haven’t any recent theories to elaborate on. Maybe I did, but the drive to write just escapes me. In truth, I was pressuring myself to publish a new entry because of the recent comments I received. Being the easy to please show off type, I felt that I should update my blog. I even wrote down ideas or topics that I can blog about or type it on my phone’s memo pad but no fruits there. You can debate whether this is sheer laziness or just a delusion that somebody cares if I post or not.
I seem to be spending this week unconscious– in bed, or half asleep. I’ve several things/habits/routines I haven’t done this week and I feel guilty. It felt as if I don’t have any semblance of control or time management skills. That alarms me. Even when I admit to being impulsive, I am a creature of habit and order by heart. I only let loose of my impulsive self last year so when things go askew I feel lost and that my life isn’t the happy chaos that I want.
What are the things that I haven’t done that I feel so guilty about? Well, the only list I have lately is that of “I haven’ts”:
- finished reading Dance of the Gods
- watched Law and Order: SVU on cable
- shopped for Christmas gifts
- scouted for a dress for the office party on Sunday
- organized my clothes by color, sleeves, collar and use in my closet
- published a blog
Yes, I’m that shallow. And boring.
In a crisis like this, I resort to compiling random thoughts and pass them off as a blog post.
I started writing about
- Sticky situations focusing on the friend zone and what happens when somebody crosses it.
- Where and what impulse brought me.
- Why I’m not a fan of purchasing branded clothes in snotty boutiques and would resort to thrifting in a heartbeat.
- What the movie, Flipped (2010), taught me.
Maybe I’d write about it one day, maybe not. I have a compulsion that any or all of my entries be something amusing and my anecdotes these days falls short, so I haven’t written. Nay, that’s an excuse. My brain is drying up.
I feel like Snoopy stuck with the opening line and unable to go beyond the stormy night.
You know those phases in your life when you know what you need to do to fix things, straighten up your life, take control but you delay doing anything about it? That’s my rut. And I thought procrastination is only so active and rampant among college students.. which I haven’t been for two years now.
PPS. I’m proud and happy when there are only few red underlines on spellcheck.