I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom, fast asleep
It would seem that I’m not done posting reviews on Christmas songs. And when I say review, it’s my own freaking opinion and I don’t need your validaton, you ass-mouth-who-likes-to-say-get-a-pen-and-don’t-“blog”. Oooh, I seriously need to work on my rage issues. Ha ha. Now, more than the intriguing lyrics, you must admit that the tone is quite catchy and would stick like a leech you can’t shake off. Next thing you know, you’ve been singing it for a week. This song is along the likes of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You. You keep singing it until everyone in your clique or in your work area is singing it at one point. That’s the magic of LSS. You don’t know LSS? Google has all the answers.😀
For some reason, this song has always been one of my favorites when I was growing up. Here I am, offering my theories that I know already crossed your minds and you would soon let me know which theory you agree with. Damn right.
The happy, innocent version.
Santa Claus was actually his own father in costume. Aww, what a sweet, sweet father. Lucky kid.
The fucked up version.
The next door neighbor, or the uncle, or the grandfather, or his father’s sister, or his mother’s lover.. disguised as Santa.
Santa Claus is freaking real. Fuckin’ Awesome, huh?
Yeah, his mom’s still a whore.
We could even speculate on what kind of kiss Santa and Mommy shared.
- Smack on the lips
- Kiss on the forehead
- Air kisses
- French kissing. With lots of tongue action.
- Torrid, full on make-out session.
- All of the above, and little Michael is scarred for life
Or, we can go the easiest route and doubt (whoa, it rhymes!) little Michael if what he saw is even true.
P.S. I use the word ‘freak’, too much