The crayon named Chaos

This day is uneventful but there is a certain gloom that hangs over my head and I just can’t shake it off. I went out and bought chocolates to somehow improve my mood. So far, endorphins have not kicked in yet and I think of a lot of snide remarks and theories in my head as I wait for the freakin elevator.

So here are random things in my head that may or may not be sardonic, lies, biases and outright bullshit.

On Self-Help Books

Ever tried reading a self-help book and trying to adhere to it because it makes so much sense at the time and gave a new meaning to your bleary life? I bet it was fun the first few weeks and the sun is so much brighter, the leaves so green, you’re full of hope and you’re insanely happy all the time. Yeah, good luck with that. I swear it’s only as good as it lasts.

The essence of beauty

An excerpt from This Duchess of Mine,
Eloisa James

Questions That Does Not Need Answers

“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don’t get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?”

-Jeanette Winterson

02. Where is Sirius Black, really?

03. Why focus on people who chose to leave you when there are people out there who still think of you before they go to sleep and wish they can see you and hope you were with them?

04. If you are desperately trying to survive a  zombie apocalypse, would it make sense to procreate and bring a baby into a zombie-infested world?

Random Retail Advice

If the shoe doesn’t fit at the shoe store, it probably won’t after you take it home. (Nora Ephron)

Men, please don’t buy denim vests. The only time it looks good on you is if you’re wearing it over a hot body– as in 6 pack-abs, beautiful pecs and glorious arms.

Nora Ephron taught me the following..

“When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.”

“As Harry puts it, men and women can never be friends because ‘the sex part always gets in the way.”

-When Harry Met Sally

“Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.”


  • Reading Lord of The Rings, Silmarillion or any J.R.R Tolkien novels. Tolkien takes descriptive sentences into another level that one chapter may sometimes be all about describing a place in the story. It’s a rain of adjectives. One day, I will try to read it again, see if my mind can be unfucked.
  • Hugh Laurie’s cameo in the movie, The Man In the Iron Mask (1998). That  expression in his face which needed no script at all. That’s how good an actor he is even in the early days.
  • Why vampires are always enemies of werewolves in literature and legends.
  • If Atlantis is really an ancient alien city.
  • Unicorns are real. Seriously.

And also, there are two sides of letting go. Saying ‘Let Me Go’ so he can chase you and hold you tighter. And saying ‘Let Me Go’ because you can’t take it anymore.

So where is cohesiveness in Jishi’s mind today? How come she comes up with awesome titles and not elaborate on it? See quote below and go fug yourself.

Color my life with the chaos of troubles. -Belle and Sebastian


3 thoughts on “The crayon named Chaos

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